God's Children
by Sara K M
Summary: Canon. After the events of "Breaking Dawn," Edward is forced to admit he might have a soul after all. As the years pass, he wonders whether God cares about his soul. Are he and his family really God's Children?


God's Children

 **Many people agree Carlisle is probably the only Christian vampire in the Twilight universe.**

 **Many people also believe Edward's belief that "vampires have no souls" would have changed after** _ **Breaking Dawn.**_ **I agree with both of these statements, for the most part. However, as it is canon that Edward** _ **also**_ **believes in God, I'd like to think after he realizes he has a soul, he'd eventually realize God cares about him, too.**

 **WARNING**

 **I am not one of those authors that insists all her reviews be positive. I always want** _ **honest**_ **reviews, whether they are positive, negative, or a little of both.**

 **However, I also know that people have some intense opinions about God, the Bible, and Christianity. I** _ **DO NOT**_ **want to see** _ **FLAMES**_ **simply because I have decided to post a story about these topics. Nor do I want to see my reviews become a battleground between readers.**

 **Keep your reviews CONSTRUCTIVE and RESPECTFUL, please, or don't review at all.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **Twilight.**_

Edward Cullen knew three things for certain for most of his existence as a vampire. 1. He loved his family. 2. He would never find a mate. 3. He had no soul. Some of these things made him unhappy, but he still accepted them. What else was there to do, after all? Then his world turned upside down when he fell in love with Bella Swan. He tried to deny it for a long time, but she was his mate. Edward's love for his family increased as they accepted Bella whole – heartedly.

Still, Edward knew he had no soul because he was a vampire. There _definitely_ wasn't anything that could change that. He hated that Bella wanted to become a vampire too, because she would lose her soul as well. A soul as beautiful as hers should be protected and cherished, not thrown away because it would be easier for them to be together! But Bella was determined, and eventually Edward had to accept her transformation would happen. They even agreed on a compromise, in which Edward would use his own venom to change her.

And then the most unlikely thing happened. Bella became pregnant. With Edward's baby. Edward was horrified as the thing grew bigger and bigger and Bella grew sicker and sicker. It was a monster, just like him. It was designed to kill humans, particularly the woman he loved. But no matter how many times he protested, no one _listened_ to Edward when he tried to tell them how dangerous the thing was. He was forced to watch as the thing killed Bella, little by little.

Then, one day, Edward was shocked that he could hear the thing… the baby's…thoughts. These thoughts were gentle. Sweet. Happy. Edward couldn't believe the amount of affection the baby already had for Bella. Maybe it wasn't a monster, after all.

When the time came for the baby to be born, things happened quickly. Everyone in his family worked together, trying to save the baby _and_ Bella. Edward raced to get his venom into her system as fast as possible. But Bella wouldn't move. Wouldn't make any noise. At all. Edward was surprised at how afraid he was that he might be too late. She may have died. He'd spent the last couple of months reluctantly accepting Bella would become a vampire. But Edward certainly wasn't eager for it. He would almost rather her die a natural death, so her soul would be accepted into heaven. But as Edward stared at Bella's motionless body, he knew he didn't _want_ a natural death for her. He wanted Bella with him for eternity.

Bella finally opened her eyes as a vampire, and it was far easier for her to resist blood than anyone expected. She also became a perfect mother for their baby, Renesmee. Bella was so sweet, even as vampire, that Edward had to assume she might still have a soul, after all. And Renesmee was much easier to control than anyone believed. (Although she still threw a tantrum when someone tried to get her to drink formula. But who could blame her?) She definitely wasn't a monster. If Edward was partially responsible for this wonderful little person…could he have a soul?

Edward didn't concern himself with that, though. His focus was on spending time with Bella, and taking care of Renesmee. Particularly considering she grew so fast. Too fast. They also learned the Volturi would becoming for them soon. Their family raced to find friends to help them and to practice fighting, should it come to that.

But thanks to Bella and Alice, respectively, the fight never came. Edward's family was safe. And Edward began to wonder about his soul again. As the years past, he had to accept, that as hard as it was for him to admit,…he probably had a soul. And so did Renesmee, and Bella, and Carlisle (of course), and the rest of their family. Even Rosalie, who was turning into an extraordinary aunt.

OOOOOOOOOO

Time past. The Cullen family enrolled at Dartmouth University. Bella enjoyed attending college for the first time, as challenging as she found it to be. Edward and the others were glad they weren't going to high school _again_ , and that they could take classes that focused more on their interests. However, Edward found it harder than he thought to focus on college and being a new father and husband at the same time. When the family moved to Pennsylvania, Edward, Bella, Renesmee, and the other siblings returned to high school and moved in with Carlisle and Esme again.

As a result, Edward interacted with Carlisle often. He often noticed him praying, although Edward was careful not to disturb his father while he did so. Edward would see him reading his Bible, too. Carlisle thought of God often as Edward read his thoughts. None of these things were new for Carlisle. Edward had been hearing about God in Carlisle's head for more than eighty years. Praying and reading the Bible were normal for his father as well. What _was_ different this time was Edward's reaction. Usually, as much as he admired Carlisle, his faith in God frustrated Edward. After all, God didn't care about vampires. They had no souls. They were no longer God's children.

Now…Edward had come to the conclusion that vampires…well, some vampires, had souls. So what did that mean for God? Edward didn't know, but he observed Carlisle's faith with interest.

Edward had _very_ few memories of his human mother, Elizabeth Masen. But one of the things that he did recall was his mother's faith. She read the Bible often. She went to church every week. She taught Edward about God. He knew God had certain expectations for his children, particularly _"Thou shalt not kill_." When Edward woke up as vampire with a burning need to murder everyone in town, he knew God didn't care about him. Didn't care about vampires. Not about creatures designed to kill humans.

But Carlisle's faith was quite similar to what he remembered of his mother's. Perhaps that was one thing that made her ask Carlisle to save him? Did Elizabeth assume Carlisle would nurture Edward's faith when she was gone? Edward sighed. If that was true, he'd disappointed his mother. Of course, it wasn't Carlisle's fault. He would be more than happy to read the Bible with Edward and talk to him about God, if Edward had expressed any interest. Edward had always made it _more than clear_ that he wanted nothing to do with it.

Still, even though Edward knew Carlisle would _love_ to talk to him about faith and the Bible, he didn't know how to ask. Edward had rejected Carlisle's attempts for years now. How did he tell Carlisle he'd changed his mind? How did he even bring it up? Would Carlisle assume Edward was ready to be a Christian again? A child of God?

The Cullens had been in Pennsylvania for about year when Edward finally asked. "Carlisle would it be all right if I…borrowed your Bible for a little while?" Carlisle was on the way to the hospital, so Edward thought this was a good time to ask, when Carlisle wouldn't ask all kinds of questions he wasn't prepared to answer yet.

"Of course!" Carlisle replied eagerly. He used vampire speed to pick up his Bible from his study, and handed it to Edward. "Take as much time as you need with it. I'll be happy to talk to you about it, when I get done my shift." _Where did_ that _come from?_ His father couldn't help but wonder internally.

Edward shrugged, not ready to talk about it yet. "Go to work, Carlisle," he told him firmly.

Carlisle nodded, flashing Edward a huge smile. _Things have changed_ so _much recently,_ Carlisle mused as he drove off in his Mercedes.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Edward held the Bible carefully, wondering where he should put it. He didn't want his siblings to ask all kinds of questions about why he had Carlisle's Bible. _Maybe I can hide it under my bed_ , he thought to himself. He quickly shoved it under, just in time for Bella to come in, wearing some new lingerie. All thoughts of the Bible flew out of Edward's mind as he gathered his wife in his arms and began kissing her in every place possible.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The next afternoon, Edward played the piano with Renesmee and then finished his homework. After making sure everyone else in the house was too busy to notice him, Edward retrieved the Bible. He decided to start with the basics. "The Story of Creation."

Edward had to admit it was a nice story. He particularly liked the part when God made Adam's wife from a part of him. It was like Adam and Eve were connected. It reminded Edward of him and Bella. " _That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife and the two become one body_ , _"_ (Gen. 2: 24) the Bible continued. It seemed to be saying that Bella should be the most important part of his life, because they had become _one_. Edward agreed with that idea completely. Furthermore, God had created Eve _specifically_ for Adam. Did that mean Bella was created _specifically_ for Edward?

There was only one problem with the story of creation, as far as Edward was concerned. According to it, God created all living things, and he created humans last. But what about vampires? They weren't mentioned at all. Did that mean vampires were created by the devil instead? Or that God created vampires and was so disappointed in them they weren't worth mentioning?

Edward had decided _some vampires_ (particularly his family and him) had souls. But did that mean God _cared_ about those souls? That was what he couldn't figure out.

Edward read on. He flipped to the New Testament and read more. He paid special attention to a parable about a widow who would not stop asking what she wanted. Eventually, the judge got tired of her asking and just gave it to her. (LK. 18: 1 – 9) The implication seemed to be that someone had to pray _over_ and _over_ in order to receive what they wanted from God. Edward had received a wonderful mate and wife. Not only that but also an amazing daughter in Renesmee. Bella had recovered from her pregnancy. When everyone had been certain the Volturi would attack and they would lose family members, the Italian coven walked away. All of this could be considered gifts from God that Edward received _without_ prayer. So what did that mean? Was it a sign that God cared about Edward, no matter what? Or was it a sign that God would do what he wanted, no matter whether Edward prayed or not?

Edward knew Carlisle would be happy to talk to him about these concerns. Actually, Carlisle's brain was practically _bursting_ with curiosity about what Edward thought about the Bible for the last few days. Still, Edward also knew Carlisle would never ask to talk before Edward asked himself. He was patient enough to wait until Edward was ready. And Edward _wasn't_ ready. Not yet.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

A week later Edward decided he was ready. Well, maybe not _ready_ , but he was tired of listening to Carlisle's thoughts on the matter. _Why would Edward want to read my Bible? Is he_ truly _interested in God and Christianity_ , _or is it all academic? Am I hoping for too much, this soon? Will he want to talk about it soon? What can I tell him to convince him he's still a child of God?_ Besides, Emmett had almost caught him reading the Bible the other day. Sooner or later, the rest of the family was going to find out about this. It would be easier to talk to Carlisle before everyone else started asking questions.

So Edward carefully knocked on the door of Carlisle's study that evening. "Come in," Carlisle replied cheerfully.

Edward came in slowly. He still wasn't sure how to discuss this. Would he disappoint Carlisle _again_ with his questions? "Here," he told his father, handing him back the Bible.

Carlisle nodded, with a big smile on his face. "Thank you, Edward. Did you enjoy it?" _That seems like an innocent enough question._

Edward shrugged. "Some of it was enjoyable. I particularly liked the "Story of Creation," with Adam and Eve. How Eve was made from a part of Adam, just for him…"

" – _and the two became one,"_ Carlisle commented, finishing the quote.

Edward nodded. "It makes me think of Bella and I.

Carlisle nodded, smiling. An image of Carlisle and Esme on their wedding day flashed through his mind. "I know what you mean."

"But Carlisle…there's no mention of vampires in the "Story of Creation." _At all._ So that means either God didn't create us or he was so disappointed in us he didn't want our existence recorded. So on one hand, God cares enough about me to create someone as wonderful as Bella _just for me_. But then he doesn't care enough about vampires enough to mention them…" Edward shook his head.

Carlisle sighed. "Yes, Edward I've noticed that, too. There's no mention of vampires in the Bible. Still, that doesn't necessarily mean what _you_ think it does."

"What else could it mean?" Edward grumbled.

"Well, it could mean that our stories have been removed to keep our secret." All the work vampires did all over the _world_ to hide their existence flashed through Carlisle's mind.

Edward shrugged. He supposed it was _possible_ , although it didn't sound very likely. It would mean somewhere there was a Biblical vampire text floating around. Wouldn't Carlisle have found that in the Volturi library if that was the case?

"Or it could mean that God wanted all the _important_ things in the Bible, and he didn't think vampires and where they came from was that important."

"So God doesn't care about vampires, then. Like I said," Edward concluded firmly. So why did Carlisle waist so much time on praying and reading the Bible?

Carlisle sighed and shook his head. " _No_ , Edward. You're assuming too much again. What I meant was that _we're_ so similar to humans that we don't need a separate text to follow. Where we came from doesn't matter. We follow the same rules. Honor your parents. Love your spouse. Don't steal. Be kind to others. _Pray._ "

" – _Thou_ _Shalt Not Kill_ ," Edward finished, thinking of the commandment he'd violated the most. That being a vampire almost compelled you to violate. "How that be true if vampires are killers by nature?"

Carlisle sighed and shook his head. "You should know better than anyone there are plenty of _humans_ that violate that commandment, too."

Edward hung his head, as his father made reference to his rebellious period. He _hated_ it when Carlisle brought that up. "Yes. So?" he snapped.

"So that means humans are killers by nature, too. But they can resist it. Just like we can resist it."

"What if we _don't_ resist it?" Edward snapped again. He still found it hard to believe God cared about him.

"God's forgiveness is absolute, Edward. He forgave you even before I did." An image Carlisle welcoming Edward back into his family when he returned appeared.

Edward didn't answer for a minute. He stood still, just thinking. Finally he picked up Carlisle's Bible again and flipped to the Parable of the Persistent Widow. "What about this? It says in order to receive something from God, you have to pray over and over again."

Carlisle nodded.

"But, in _your_ way of thinking, I have received Bella, Bella's health, Renesmee, and our families safety from the Volturi from God."

"Right," Carlisle answered brightly. _I think your beginning to understand._

Edward shook his head. "Not so fast, Carlisle. I received _all_ of those things from him _without_ praying at all. So that seems to mean God will give us whatever he wants, and _not_ give us what he doesn't want, no matter what we think. Sounds like a God who doesn't care about me, again."

Carlisle froze for a minute. His thoughts changed so fast, Edward could barely keep up. _How could you…God cares…Why can't you see…Edward, just…_ Finally, Carlisle started talking again. "I find it hard to believe you'd take all that evidence that God _definitely_ cares about you, Edward. Enough to give you gifts like Bella and Renesmee. And turn it into evidence that God doesn't care _at all._ First of all, although God _does_ want us to pray, sometimes he gives us gifts without asking. Just because he loves us. Like you do for Renesmee."

Edward nodded, thinking of all the books he'd bought Renesmee last week. She hadn't asked for them, but he knew they made his daughter happy.

"Second of all," Carlisle continued, "Did it occur to you that _I_ might pray for those things on your behalf?" Images of Carlisle praying in many different locations began to appear.

Edward stared at his father. No, that hadn't occurred to him at all. "I suppose I should say thank you," he commented, not sure what else to say.

"Your welcome. But perhaps you should try praying now?"

Edward shrugged. "I have everything I need now."

"I'm glad to hear that. But there are more reasons to pray than to ask God for things. To thank God for the things you already have, for one."

Edward nodded. "I suppose."

"Do _you_ like it when Renesmee thanks you for things you've given her? Or things you've done for her?"

Edward nodded. "Bella, too."

"Then you should know God would appreciate it, too, Edward. But even more than that, God _wants_ you to talk to him."

Edward looked at Carlisle, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Why do you like Bella and Renesmee to talk to you? Is it just so they can ask for things and thank them for the things you gave them?"

Edward thought for a minute before replying. "No. I want to hear what they're doing in their life. I want to hear what Bella's thinking in that surprising brain of hers. I want to _see_ what Renesmee's focused on. I want to hear the sound of their voices."

Carlisle nodded. "Exactly. And what about the rest of the family?"

Edward shrugged. "The same thing, although a different degree. I like joking around with Emmett and Jasper. I like talking to you about different things."

Carlisle smile went even wider. " _That's_ why God wants you to pray, Edward. For the same reasons. He wants to hear about your life."

Edward sighed. "I still don't know Carlisle. I don't know if I can agree with you."

Carlisle nodded. "I'm not going to force you to do so, Edward. You know that. It's time for me to go to the hospital."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Another week past, and Edward was still thinking about what Carlisle said and what he had read (and _hadn't read_ ) in the Bible. He still wasn't comfortable with the fact that there were no mention of vampires in the book. Still, if God _might_ care about Edward, what harm was there in trying to pray?

 _Hello, God. I really don't know what to say. Thank you for Bella and Renesmee and the rest of my family._

Edward finished the prayer after that, still feeling awkward.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Rosalie and Edward got into another fight. That woman was _infuriating!_ How were they going to fix it _this_ time? And before he even realized it, Edward prayed _help us fix this, God_. Miraculously, Rosalie eventually _apologized_ to Edward (although he knew Emmett had prompted her do so). Edward was so surprised, he even admitted part of it was his fault. _Maybe Carlisle was right about prayer_ Edward thought.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edward began praying more regularly after that. He began to realize he _was_ God's child. Emmett teased him, calling him "Saint Edward." He didn't mind. Emmett never meant any harm. Bella told him she was overjoyed he'd _finally_ made peace with God.

Renesmee asked him _why_ her Dad was "talking" to someone who wouldn't answer. "Well, God…usually answers later on, through what other people say." Edward's mind flashed to the moment Rosalie apologized to him. Through Carlisle mind, Edward also saw the moment when Aro decided not to attack. "And sometimes, you don't _need_ someone to talk back. You just need someone to listen."

Carlisle nodded from the background.

OOOOOOOOOOO

But even though his family was happy Edward had finally found peace with God, they weren't interested in it themselves. Edward was particularly disappointed Bella and Renesmee were not interested in God.

Carlisle shrugged. "You can't force them, Edward. Just like I never forced _you._ But we can hope. And _pray_ that someday…" _they might change their minds._ "We have eternity, after all."

"Eternity," Edward agreed. He would never be as patient as Carlisle was, but he could still try. And hope. And pray.

 **AN: The translation of the Bible verses might be slightly off. I assume Carlisle would have a** _ **King James**_ **translation, whereas my Bible is a Catholic translation. However, I'm sure most of us can agree the** _ **content**_ **of these verses is the same, no matter which translation is used.**


End file.
